Notes on Achilles as the Greek Warrior Exemplar Essays

Now that I have finally had a chance to finish grading the essays on Achilles as the exemplar of Greek culture, I have a some general comments to share with you. First, these were an interesting mixed bag of writing that addressed a difficult prompt given the strict and rigid lens we initially used in interpreting Achilles actions in Homer's Iliad. Far more fascinating was the evolution of interpretation that began to take place when a new lens, ideas presented in Shay's Achilles in Vietnam, was used to examine the same material. This should give you all rich material with which to revise these papers in future.

One of the most significant challenges is the need to be consistent about your verb tense. However this is difficult in a paper of this kind, because when writing about literature you are to use present tense, but when writing about history you are to use past tense. The trick is to be consistent about your use within the correct context. The easiest way to do this is to group ideas in the two categories, literary and historical.

Many of you wrote pieces that lacked significant development of your ideas. Instead you chose to simply settle for stating claims but not backing them up with evidence, bit more importantly thorough commentary and analysis. Consequently, there are a number of papers where there were a lot of words but not much substantive really stated. The simplest way to remedy this is to follow a simple pattern for each body paragraph: state your claim directly and explicitly, support it with textual evidence, develop deep and thoughtful commentary and analysis that explains both the evidence and basis for your claims. This means that you need to focus on the how and why your ideas and claims are relevant to you thesis.

Other than that, here is alist of things to consider in your revisions:

• Use standard MLA format - read this resource
• Avoid contractions in formal papers
• Use 3rd person through your paper
• Avoid ending phrase, clauses, and sentences with prepositions
• Develop a thesis that has a clear point that directly addresses the prompt
• Review the uses of a comma

If you have any questions about your particular paper, please schedule an appointment with me. I will be happy to assit you as you consider your revision.